Do you ever feel like you're not being taken seriously? Do you get angry because you were "just being honest" and it pissed people off? There might be a few reasons for it!

Chances are, if you're pissing people off left and right, you're being a total bitch, not "honest". It's very, very possible to be fully truthful and have it be obvious that you don't mean any harm by it. And if you DO mean harm by it, then you need to step back and grow up.

It's hard to take someone seriously when they have a painfully limited vocabulary that consists almost entirely of swears, curses, and other insults that are totally irrelevent and unnecessary to the topic at hand. All it does is make you look young and uneducated. You know how adults talk to little kids? That's basically what it's like to talk to you, if you fit this description.. except that it's not even remotely cute because you should be old enough to know better.

Try not to be so condescending. Stating your negative opinions in a rude, aggressive manner isn't justified by anything. Everyone slips up sometimes and loses their temper, that's when you apologize. But saying something along the lines of how anyone who gets offended by your blatant mud-slinging must be some frilly oversensitive pansy who's feelings are just easily hurt when you don't "sugarcoat" things just makes you look like you're totally full of yourself. This isn't high school. You should have grown out of trying to look badass by degrading everyone around you by now.

If you behave that way and are actually very young, like 16 and below.. ? Don't act surprised when people who are older stop taking you seriously. People aren't using your age as an excuse, but rather, they're connecting your maturity to your age, which is perfectly okay. Experience is life's teacher, and if you're still young, you probably aren't going to know better. We aren't going to pain ourselves to listen to you until you stop screaming.

Try to not abuse emoticons. Either good OR bad. Abuse of even happy smiley faces will eventually become obnoxious, and abusing the negative ones (such as the rolleyes icon, I dealt with someone who abused the hell out of it just recently. Their eyes got a lot of exercise!) just makes you look spiteful, uncreative, and inarticulate.

If you see someone saying something rude and unnecessary, and you AGREE with them even with nothing more than a "Yeah", don't act all stupidly confused when people get angry at YOU. Just because someone else said it, that doesn't mean you're off the hook if you go out of your way to state you agree with their childish remarks. A good example I used recently to explain why this is a silly line of thought: If two parents take their 17 year old child to a restaurant, then proceeds to throw a hissy fit (involving much swearing and random insults to everyone in sight, including waitresses that don't have anything to do with the restaurant's policy)because they don't get free refills for their beer, the child can't reasonably act surprised when he gets kicked out and given mean looks right along with his parents, even though all he did was stand up and go "Yeah, that's right!". That attitude doesn't even START to make sense. Take responsibility for your opinions, especially if you yourself start fighting with others.

What else..

Be a good sport. Grudges are a total waste of energy. This doesn't mean that you eventually have to make yourself like someone even if they wronged you, it just means that you shouldn't spend a lot of time thinking about it, fighting with them, and otherwise just being hateful. Even if you feel they deserve it, it's doubtful they'll change their ways because you're angry with them, and it hurts you in the long run far more than it would effect them. On the same note, if someone does wrong you not very seriously and then apologizes for it, you just end up looking like a bit of a brat if you spend hours screaming at them for it because it "didn't fly", completely ignoring the fact they sincerely apologized for what they did wrong. It also makes you look obsessive, and to some people, psycho. There's little worse than making yourself look like you're obsessed with hatefully fighting with people.

If YOU do something wrong, apologize. If they choose to not accept it, it's not your problem anymore. I know it can be hard to just walk away from a fight, especially when they're making all these nasty assumptions, calling you names, threatening you, etc., but it really is the best way to handle it, with the rare exception. People who ignore an apology in favour of continuing to fight with you aren't worth the effort, and they won't change their mind. These same people are usually very, very defensive and unless you're outright sucking up to them, they'll probably hate you for any reason they can think of, which is usually just you disagreeing with an opinion of theirs. Say all you need to say to get your opinion across, and then abandon the argument, as it's just not worth the trouble. It's the equivelant of arguing with a brick wall that's somehow on fire.

This sure is long, huh?

Try to type at least somewhat properly. It might be slightly quicker to use netspeak and not bother to correct typos, but it's inconsiderate to everyone who has to try to decode the typo-infected post just to figure out what you're talking about. In the end, you spend more time trying to get people to understand you, as compared to if you just typed it out correctly in the first place. Try to use some common sense. Everyone is going to make the occasional typo, or be unsure of how something is spelled, and unless it's important that the word is corrected for one reason or another, just leave it be if that's all it is. There's a big difference between being helpful with correcting someone and being spiteful because they dared to correct you at some point.

Spite. That deserves a poorly constructed paragraph of it's own. I'm ashamed to see so many people, especially on this site, do something stupid/mean and then go, "You can't yell at me for doing it, so and so does it/has done it to me!". I know you guys know better. That kind of attitude should have been left behind in grade school. I've seen many examples of spite on this site, and the one I just described is just one type, really. There's a slightly more subtle version of spite where someone knows they should do something, like cite a reference or return something they borrowed from someone, but because the other person was mean to person B. at one point, they decide to intentionally not cite a reference, or return what they borrowed, out of spite, even though they know it's not right to do so.

Why do people keep accusing you of kissing someone's butt? Well, some people might do it to lash out if you disagree with their opinions, but if several people who have no previous beef with you accuse you of such, you really might want to check your behaviour. I know ego tends to get in the way of this, and it's easier to just assume anyone who criticizes you is just doing it because they're jealous, or you were right about something and they didn't like that, etc., but that's not always going to be the case. Chances are, if enough unbiased opinions come up that you're kissing up or being obnoxious in one way or another, then you probably are. A bunch of strangers isn't going to have much of a reason to lie to you, it's not like they'll get anything out of it or probably even talk to you again. How can you fix it? Look at your own activity. Do half or more of your comments/posts have to do with defending a person or specific group of people, even when it's unnecessary because the original post/comment/whatever wasn't even trying to be offensive and just merely stating their own opinion that just happens to not be the same as yours? If so, you're bound to look like you're sucking up, even if that's not what you were intending. Stating your opinion is one thing, but there's really no need to jump into every single conversation you can find and tell them they're wrong and just trying to cause problems. You don't know everything, you know. They might be right.

I almost forgot. In regards to insults and accusations? Don't think you can subtly slip them in (passive-aggressive, as some might label it)and get away with it. Someone will notice eventually and call you out on it. Just don't let your temper get the best of you in the first place, and you'll be fine.

If you've actually read all this so far, I commend you. But it was pretty pointless if you aren't actually thinking about anything that I said, you know..

Anyway, what's the point of this entry? (In no particular order..)

Being a jerk isn't "cool".
Be honest, but try not to be rude about it, there's no need.
If you're young, and you ACT young, don't complain when people assume you are indeed young.
Nice typing is very, very sexy.
Expand your vocabulary, but don't try to fit every word you know in each post you make, or you'll look like you're trying too hard.
You aren't the be all and end all of ANYTHING. You're bound to be wrong sometimes.
On that note, apologize when you're wrong, and be willing to accept other people's apologies and leave it at that.
is just as bad as
Don't act surprised when someone gets mad at you for agreeing with someone who said something rude. That's dumb on so many levels.
Try to not be spiteful, or hold grudges.
If enough people are getting angry with you, you may want to review your own behaviour, as opposed to blaming them and getting a mob of your fans to agree with you so you can feel right.

This isn't aimed at anyone in particular. More at the general populace. If you read all that and felt offended, then you're probably guilty of one or more things on that list, and you may want to take a bit of time to relax and try to better yourself. It's not about being popular or even really getting people to like you, it's more about behaving the way you would want people to behave with you. You're nothing short of a hypocrite if you act like an ass, and then promptly act like you're some sort of victim when people get pissy with you.

I don't expect anyone to read this, really, but I wanted to say it anyway. This site has changed a good deal since everyone started fighting with each other because of the °jark vs. $spyed thing, and it's starting to make me ashamed to be here. Not that that matters to any of you, I suppose. I just doubt I'm the only one that feels that way.

Relax and take care of yourselves. All of you, even those of you who hate me.

Much love!
Dani